A CALL TO FORGIVE AND BE MERCIFUL.
September 17, 2023.
Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time – A.
"Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I
forgive? As many as seven times?" Mt 18:21
An Albanian proverb says: “Every time you forgive a man you
weaken him and strengthen yourself.” And an Agni proverb adds: “Those who do
not forgive break the bridge on which they have to pass.”
"Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin
against us." In this sentence very familiar to us, we can find the main
line of our reflection in today’s liturgy. It is all about forgiving, being
merciful, and deserving in return to be forgiven. The book of Sirach in chapter
28, and Psalm 103 can concord to sing: “Bless the Lord, my soul; and do not
forget all his gifts, who pardons all your sins, and heals all your ills…”
Forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of love. It is about
letting go, and giving out of love to others, even though it costs us. In that
sense, someone says, to forgive costs love, but unforgiveness costs life. And
that is true. It costs a great love to forgive others. He who does not love
keeps the pains and faults done to him in his heart and hugs them tight. But he
who loves eases himself by letting go and so he lives free.
Two words in Greek are used in the New Testament for
forgiveness. One is the word ‘CHARIDZOMAI’ and the other is ‘APHIEMI’. And
God’s use of these words is perfectly crafted to apply to the human challenge
of forgiveness.
The word ‘CHARIDZOMAI’ comes from the root word, CHARIS,
which means grace (Ephesians 4:31-32). It is about being gracious. So, the idea
of forgiveness here is canceling a debt. Through the other word, in ‘APHIEMI’,
we see more of the dimension of letting go and forgetting. To forgive must lead
to let go, to forget. With ‘APHIEMI’, we are reminded that when we forgive
someone, we let it go. We aren’t going to bring it up again.
There is one greatest truth behind every act of forgiveness.
That is, when you forgive people, you are not forgiving them in reality, but
more, you forgive yourself. You let go of the heavy load of anger and wrath
that poisons your life and makes you unhappy. You grace yourself with perfect
happiness that overlooks the grief. You are the first beneficiary of every act
of forgiveness and of all that you do going in the sense of love. Because
forgiveness is a double-sided medicine. It is a pill you give others but that,
though swallowed by another one, heals you as well.
When praying the Lord's Prayer, we raise one intrinsic
dimension of forgiveness: "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who
sin against us." It is not that we put a condition to God's forgiveness
but we tell ourselves indirectly that when we fail or refuse to forgive others’
offenses, we make void or useless the forgiveness we have received from God.
God forgives us, so that we too, might gain the courage and the necessary
strength to forgive others. Thus, the etymology of the word, from the old
English FORGIEFAN, of Germanic origin, related to Dutch VERGEVEN or VERGEBEN,
and ultimately to for- and give: GIVE FOR. To forgive is to give for the good
of others and oneself. In simple words, it is to be gracious.
Sirach, in the first reading, makes it a warning as well as
an exhortation. “Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your
own sins will be forgiven.” Many people, and eventually Christians and good
churchgoers, are unforgiving. While they beg the Lord and do great acts of
penance, fasting, and other things for their own sins to be forgiven, they
refuse to open themselves to the grace of forgiving others. They nourish hatred
and wrath against those who sin against them. To them, Sirach says, "Wrath
and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight..." Why then
close oneself in what is hateful? Why don't you set yourself free by forgiving
and letting go? "Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect
healing from the Lord?" You are a sinner like your brother. Do you want
the Lord to forgive you? Then learn to forgive your neighbor’s fault. Set your
brother or your sister free from the prison of your anger and wrath, and then
you will also be free.
In the Gospel, a question from Peter: "Lord, if my
brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven
times?" It is like you and I are the ones putting this question to the
Lord. How often must we forgive? With our mathematic and algebraic mindset, we
put a limit to everything. Love has a limit, and so too does forgiveness. Until
a certain point, I can forgive. But past that level, no more.
Peter, putting the question had an ideal of perfection. For
a good Jew, seven is the per excellence number of perfection. So, to forgive
seven times is more than enough. And not only so, it could mean one’s a day, so
seven days a week. It is quite sound, a good action for every day could be to
forgive one a day. But then, if the person does more, should we take revenge?
Surprisingly, the Lord sets another standard: “I say to you,
not seven times but seventy-seven times.” It is about limitless or infinite
forgiveness. For, merci is a divine attribute. And what is from God is without
limit and cannot be measured. Forgiveness should be given as many times as
needed. Thus, the parable given by the Lord after answering Peter gets all its
meaning. Unforgiveness or unforgiving people expose themselves to divine fury.
If God who is all-powerful and to whom we owe everything, does not get tired of
forgiving us, we too should not get tired of forgiving our fellows.
If we realize that we live for others and that we also die for others, we will not set any conditions, nor get tired of forgiving others. Because our life gets its true meaning only through them and for them. Without forgiving others, we live in bitterness and poison our whole existence. Forgiveness is a cure that frees us from negative feelings or emotions that sustain the pain and can thereby heal. When you forgive, you give a chance to two people to live anew and be released from the burden of anger: you and the offender. When you refuse to forgive, you make two prisoners sentenced to life. Just as the Lord, those he does not overlook our sins, do not get tired of forgiving us, so too, let us not get tired of forgiving those who wrong us.
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